10 tips for buying your first house

If you are like us, you're addicted to any television show that is related to design, DIY and home buying. We have our favorites, sure, but for the most part, we watch them all. For years, Nicole and I have been dying wanting to purchase a home. In fact, we both remember being in our late teens and envying those who had their own home. Not only is it security blanket, albeit with a mortgage payment that's due every month, but it is a place where you can make it your own.

As we began our process a month ago, we had the belief that it's simple. You find a house. You make an offer. Offer gets accepted. You move in. That's what they show on TV anyway, but it's not as easy or as fun as it's often portrayed.

We instantly fell in love with one of the first houses we walked through, so that process was easy. It was all the other details that downright gave us anxiety and fear. Below are 10 tips for buying your first home to ease you through the process because you are not alone.

Tip #1: Figure out how much you can spend FIRST

Figure out your budget first and foremost. This should be done before you look at homes, talk lenders, or choose a realtor. Having an expectation before doing any of that will lessen the blow if you ultimately figure out you can afford less than you thought. There are tons of calculators out there like this one here. It is helpful to see how adding an extra thousand or two to your budget affects your total payment. It should include your taxes and insurance included too, so you can see if your total payment fits in your budget.

a) You'll need a downpayment. We chose the conventional 20% down route, but there are programs for less down payments.

b) Take the last three months and calculate your grocery costs, personal care, pet supplies, medical needs, date nights, gasoline, electric, natural gas, and other monthly expenses. These will still need to be paid on top of your mortgage. Plus, you should still contribute to your retirement, savings and renovations.

c) Create scenarios. If your potential mortgage is higher than your rent, pretend for a month or two that you are paying more and put the additional money into your savings account. Then, adjust your utilities to 25-50% higher, depending on the size of your new house you are looking at getting. Put that money in your savings. Want to paint as soon as you move in? Put a little money aside and see if you can still afford all of your other necessities and interests. If so, then your budget is probably doable and you should adjust to the increase in expenses just fine.

Tip #3: Anxiety is normal

Anxiety. I never thought it would describe the feelings and emotions that I had, but it was true. In fact, all of that excitement over purchasing a home turned to anxiety and fear. It's all for good reason, too. You're spending a LARGE sum of money, your savings account is going to feel as if it's depleted when your downpayment is taken out and if you've never purchased a home, you want to make sure you're doing everything correct.

Tip #4: Find a great mortgage lender

Options here are endless and it's best to ask your friends and family who they used. It's not hard to find a plethora of lenders online, but for your first home buying experience, I would recommend stay away from those. I know because this is where we started our process. One of those very popular websites isn't so friendly. After a dozen or so phone calls and insistently saying we chose another lender, they finally left us alone. Phew. It's best to find someone local that you can call, visit, text or email right away and get an answer, and trust me, there will plenty of questions.

We spoke with the local credit union, the bank we have our personal accounts and got recommendations from friends and our realtor. I've heard that some realtors get commissions and bonuses from mortgage companies when they refer a client. I was slightly skeptical, but decided to at least inquire and boy are we glad we did. Our mortgage lender, David, was phenomenal. He answered our phone calls on Sunday afternoons, texted us updates and exchanged more than 100 emails with us. He kept us informed, calm and completely abreast to everything that was happening with our application. Needless to say, this bank has a new customer. For life.

Tip #5: You need to become friends with your realtor

Our realtor is prominent one in our community and is also an acquaintance of ours. You should go at the home buying experience as if you were dating. Set the ground rules. Can I text you? Do you respond to emails better? Don't call me between these hours. These are our interests and this list is what we are looking for in a house. These are the two or three things we cannot budge on. Here's how our relationship worked:

a) We texted each other constantly. We asked minor questions, scheduled appointments and gave feedback.

b) Emails were for those contracts and longer things that couldn't be done via text. Since Nicole and I both work full time, it was best to send an email and we got to it when we could. This is helpful for inspection reports, the appraisal, contracts, remedies and more.

c) We didn't tell our realtor not to call us if something came up. We were on call, but if your job isn't flexible or you have certain family obligations, let your realtor know that.

d) We knew we wanted a house that would entertain others well, we would like an extra room for a home office and a safe neighborhood.

e) We knew we could NOT budge on these: Had to be in our current town/school district. Even though we currently do not have children, our friends are located here and we want our children to go to this school district. We had to have a two car garage. No exceptions. No wallpaper. Since we have friends who are battling the wallpaper war, we knew from seeing their frustrations that we did not want to deal with it. These are personal preferences and you'll have your own list.

Tip #6: Negotiating can be scary

Negotiating can be downright horrific. Some folks are determined to get a certain price for their home and believe it is worth more than it truly is. It's understandable to have this pride, but you need to be realistic. You probably shouldn't be looking at homes that are $30,000 or more above your budget because realistically, the seller won't come down.

We had a finite budget and knew we couldn't go more than a few thousand over and that's exactly what we did. We settled on a final price $3,000 more than our max budget. It added about $12 a month to our mortgage, but we still got an incredible deal. Our realtor was open to offering whatever we wanted and took our lead. Nicole and I wrote a nice letter to the seller (hey, we saw it once on TV) and it helped us. At closing, the seller's realtor told us there was an offer $31,000 more than our ours, but she accepted us because of how simple our offer was with no contingencies and the personal touch helped.

Tip #7: Do more than one walk-through

Although we knew our house was THE house, we went on a second walk through and we are glad we did. There, we saw things we didn't see the first time. Some positive, like extra storage areas and the water softener already installed, others were negative like how ugly the blue bathroom really is. A second glance will help you make your final decision.

Tip #8: Go to your home inspection

This will be posed to you as an option. You can. Or you don't have to. You NEED to go. During this time you can ask the inspector all sorts of questions like how to turn the fireplace on, since I've never had a home with one. Our inspector took us on a tour of the house and showed us the things that were wrong and pointed our things that were done well. This is your time to inspect as well. Take measurements for your washer and dryer, visualize your furniture, see how sturdy the fixtures are and make sure no big surprises are hidden anywhere.

Your inspector should go on top of the roof, lay large levels on the back patio and sides of the exposed basement wall and test the electrical outlets. If he/she doesn't you need to ask! These are things I would have never expected and asked why our inspector was doing them. He mentioned that some inspectors never take the time to put a 6ft level on the side of the basement wall to see if it has any movement. But, this tells you a lot about the foundation and sturdiness of your home.

Tip #9: Don't be afraid to ask the same question twice

I may be the type that checks everything twice. Some call it OCD, I call it reassurance. I check twice to make sure the stove is off after dinner, I check my alarm clock twice before bed and I look both ways twice before entering the intersection. This doesn't make me obsessive, just cautious, always wanting to be accurate.

Don't be afraid to ask your questions twice. There is no need to create extra anxiety or worry by not remembering all the information the first time. For instance, you will receive a Good Faith Estimate (GFE) from your lender. It outlines all of the costs, the money the seller will attribute, and the money you need to bring to closing. It's good to have your mortgage lender or realtor go through this document twice with you. There's a lot of tables and numbers that appear twice (see, it's not just me), so it's good to fully understand it.

Having questions answered twice will bring clarity and serenity because you may be so anxious excited during the process that you don't hear everything correctly.

Tip #10: Stay optimistic

Since I am a numbers and budget kind of guy, I always had anxiety that at closing we would have to pay a ridiculous amount of money, but keep your focus and use the above tips. For instance, when I had my minor panic attack that we would have to spend more at closing, I referred to my GFE and called my lender. He walked me through it again and reassured me.

Even though the home buying process isn't like it is always portrayed, it is a great experience. I got to go through it with my wife and fulfill the dream we've always had. Now, keys in-hand, we are homeowners and all of that anxiety is gone. Sure, we have to be budget conscience as we make our improvements, but now we have a place we can call our own.